starting again.

So, I've tried to start a blog at least five times in college and every time I do it--it fails. So, naturally I'm going to try it again. We'll see how long it lasts this time.

This semester is WONDERFUL. I have four of the easiest--and most interesting classes I've ever taken. I'm busy all the time with work, Upward, FaceDown, youth ministry, and school..but for the first time I'm not stressed. I can deal with tired. Having a stress-free life is amazing though..hands down, the best thing ever.

But it kinda made me think..even when things get hard in life, why do I not trust in God enough to stay this relaxed in life? Technically, I should never be worried..for who can add a single day to their life by worrying? Longing to be on top of things is alright, but stressing over them really isn't if you claim to trust in the one true God who came for us and is the author and perfector of our faith--our true sustainer. Kinda deep there, but it really made me think when I started considering how easily I let things get to me and stress me out.

Like...

GRAD SCHOOL. Oh my gosh, who knew that applying to school all over again was going to be so hard? This has been the longest, most drawn out process of probably my entire life. I hate not knowing things (again, with the trust issue--I'm working on it). But, for crying out loud, I turned in my UAB application on NOVEMBER THIRD. It is now February...why haven't I heard a thing from them yet? I would be okay with a rejection..I just want to know either way. I want to be able to plan my life for next year (Again, I've really gotta stop doing that). But it's just so unsettling to not know where my future is going. I really do trust my Savior when it comes down to it, but trying to figure out where His will for you is leading can try anyone's patience if we are honest about it. Anyways..all I know is that I have a passion for working with children who are born with metabolic disorders and working to create the best life for them that God can provide while they are on this earth. Bottom line. That's what I want to do with my life. Now, if UAB is the means through which I get to do that, great. If not, I would just love to know so that I can figure out what direction I need to be pursuing instead.

I graduate in a little less than 3 months. WHAT THE MESS? Who said it was time to grow up? I can still remember my freshman year Alabama Action (and for those of you who don't know,t hat is a HUGE part of my college memories). It really was just like yesterday that I got to UA and started walking through this chapter of my life. Little did I know what God would have in store for me while I was here. For those of you who don't know, here are a few things my college career was filled with..

-Losing my grandmother two weeks before I moved to Tuscaloosa for Freshman year
-Starting college as a single girl, which was new for me.
-Losing my aunt to cancer my Sophomore year.
-Finding the absolute BEST group of friends I could ask for. SO BLESSED to have them in my life.
-Losing my cousin to a drunk driving accident my Junior year.
-Getting into and completing the Coordinated Program in dietetics..which, if you know anything about life is a HUGE accomplishment.
-Got to go to Passion for the 1st time in 2011 and it was LIFE CHANGING.
-Losing another cousin the summer before my Senior year to a car accident.
-Getting dumped
-Feeling rejected
-Crying..from laughing so hard
-Getting to know my Lord and Savior for a small glimpse of who He really is
-Learning to love who I am.
-Finding strength in the only One who can provide it.
-Meeting the love of my life.
-Growing close to my parents.
-Getting two of the sweetest puppies on the planet.
-Learning to love
-Leraning to trust
-Learning to serve.
-Going through 4 Alabama Actions.
-Getting the opportunity to love on and mentor (hopefully in a good way) the most WONDERFUL group of high school and middle school students on the planet, many of which have become my good friends.
-Maintaining a 4.0 GPA my entire collegiate career.

The last one is really not to brag. It's a goal that I set for myself a long time ago and it is absolutely amazing to think about accomplishing it. I know grades aren't everything, but school is one thing that I've always put only my best foot forward in, and it is cool to see it pay off, even if no one but my future employers will ever know that. Still pretty cool.

God has really taught me so much over the past years about who He made me to be. I don't know if you know this about me, but I don't cry. Or at least I didn't. I'm just like my dad, which means that it takes a lot for me to get emotional about things, but over the years that had become a wall that I was putting up not to show weakness. And over the past four years, God has completely broken down those walls and shown me that He is my only true strength. It truly has been an amazing revelation and transformation. I've recently been slapped in the face with conviction to study more of God's word, so that is what I've been doing lately. And let me tell you, more God-given confidence comes from knowing the promises that He has for us than anything I've ever experienced in my entire life.

I'm going to wrap this up now, it's getting slightly long. But I will say, I am going to try to write in this thing at least once a week. We'll see how it goes.

Btw, I've been dating my best friend for almost a year now. Not to be mushy, but thinking about that makes me smile. It's been a year FULL of ups and downs, but I don't know if I would change a bit of it. Can't wait to see where life takes us.

There they are. My thoughts.
Take them for what they're worth.

KF